What I'm About

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Portland, Maine, United States
I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a tortilla, deep fried to a golden crisp and smothered in sour cream and salsa. After the relatively short amount of years of living on this planet, only now do I feel like I have anything marginally interesting to say about anything. I hope to be able to write funny things for the most part, but don't be surprised if occasionally there appears some weird erotic fiction or a long-winded, philosophical monologue about the meaning of life. It just all depends on how I'm feeling on any given day. One this is for sure though, there will be cute pictures (and in all likelihood, videos) of bunnies and cats from time to time. So you've officially been warned...

Friday, May 23, 2014

Backseat Driver

     "Sure, you can come with us...as long as you drive," said Dean, slapping the keys to the rental car into Seth's open palm. "That actually works out good for me, since that way I'll have both hands free to work my magic," he said as he looked hungrily at Renee, who was busy loading her bag into the trunk and not paying attention to their conversation. As he spoke, Seth followed Dean's gaze to the pair of black suede over-the-knee boots she was wearing with a rather short, fitted skirt. She looked classy as usual, but even Seth had to admit that there was something about her in those boots that was unbelievably sexy. All Seth could think of was what she might look like wearing just the boots and nothing else. He must have stared a bit too long, because he was unceremoniously slapped out of his reverie by Dean, who leaned in close and whispered, "Don't even think about it, man...that's all mine. Although maybe you're lucky, she might not mind you watching."
     Seth shivered as he felt Dean's hot breath in his ear, his cheek stinging from the slap. His cock was already stirring in his tight jeans as his imagination began to ramp up. "Alright, but I'm tellin' ya, she's not gonna let you do shit with me in the car. She's not that kind of girl....is she?" he asked, a hint of longing in his voice.
     Dean looked over at Renee again just in time to see her bending over, reaching for something in the deeper recesses of the trunk. The gold zippers that ran up the back of her boots were like two shining beacons, pointing the way up to the promised land that awaited him underneath the skirt that was stretching marvelously to accommodate her trim, yet shapely behind. He gawked openly, momentarily forgetting that Seth had just asked him a question. He shook his head, trying to clear away the distraction. "Huh?" he asked, having completely lost his train of thought. He looked at Seth awkwardly, a hint of a flush on his cheeks. "Sorry, I uh..."
     Chuckling, Seth clapped a hand on Dean's shoulder and leaned in, whispering, "You guys haven't had sex yet, have you? Haha, this ought to be a very entertaining ride," before walking to the car and getting in the driver's seat.
      "Need any help with that?" Dean offered as he walked up behind Renee, still checking out her ass but trying to be a bit more discreet this time.
     Renee turned around, rolling her eyes. "Well, maybe if you had asked me that five minutes ago, I might have said yes, but it's under control now. You just go sit your pretty self in the front seat, big boy, I got this," she said, smirking as she looked up at the surprised expression on Dean's face. 
     "Oh really?" he replied, a bit taken aback. "Well what if I want to sit with you, huh?" he inquired, sliding an arm around her small waist and pulling her against him, giving her his best sad puppy-dog eyes and jutting out his bottom lip in an adorable pout.
     Renee raised an eyebrow, somewhat suspicious of his tactics. "So you want us both to sit in the back while poor Seth has to chauffeur us around everywhere? That hardly seems fair," she replied, running a hand up his chest and dragging her fingernails back down lightly. "I mean, isn't that going to be weird?"
       "Weird? Nah, he sees enough of my ugly mug as it is. I'm sure he won't mind not having to look at it for a little while," Dean answered, his hands slowly meandering down her backside. "Come on, I promise I won't bite...unless maybe you ask real nice," he said slyly, giving her ass a quick squeeze and smiling before leaning in and planting a gentle kiss on her lips.  
     Renee cocked an eyebrow, giving him a quizzical look. "Why would I ask you to do something painful to me on purpose? I don't see the appeal in that, to be honest."
     "Well, maybe you just haven't had somebody hurt you in just the right way yet," Dean shot back, grabbing her rather abruptly and pushing her back against the trunk of the vehicle. He kicked her legs apart with his foot, brought his leg up and rubbed it firmly against the warm junction of her thighs, causing her tight skirt to ride up as he kissed her again, more aggressively this time. She moaned lightly into his mouth, her desire for him growing rapidly even though she struggled to hide it. 
     "You, sir, are being very, very fresh," she teased once she finally pulled away, infinitely pleased at the  look of longing on Dean's face. He leaned toward her as she leaned back, lips still pouted in anticipation of another kiss. His hands clasped behind her lower back, pressing their bodies tightly together and squeezing out a soft moan from the small blonde. He released the pressure enough to allow her to breathe and waited for her eyes to meet his once again.
     "Am I?" he asked, feigning innocence. "Or am I doing exactly what you want?" 
     Renee's eyes narrowed as she seemed to think about it for a moment, then she raised a finger up between them and tapped him lightly on the tip of his nose. "That's a very good question," she answered, returning his challenging gaze with one of her own. "But did you ever consider that maybe I don't know exactly what I want all the time? I mean, maybe I want to see what happens...maybe I like spontaneity. Did you ever think of that, smart guy?" she asked sarcastically, giving a self-satisfied smirk as she playfully shoved him away.
     Deans eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly found himself at a loss for words. His mouth hung open as he struggled to process the possible implications of her rather cryptic statement. After a long moment, a twitchy grin and a look of sly recognition spread across his face. He stepped back and pulled her upright, then led her around the car and opened the rear door gallantly, allowing her to enter first. "After you, Madame," he said, waving her in.
     Renee let out a sigh and rolled her eyes, then moved past him and ducked down to get inside. "Ok, now you're trying waaayy too hard," she chided.
     Dean's lip curled into a sneer at her words and before he knew it, his hand was already on a trajectory aiming directly for her hindquarters. The slap cracked loudly against her tight behind, and as her head spun around to chastise him, he quickly climbed into the seat with her and brought his mouth right up to her ear, purring, "How about that? Was that hard enough for you, Princess? I wanna make sure I do it just right."
     "You shut your mouth," she responded testily, reaching up and swatting him on the cheek with an open palm. "Close the fucking door and let's go." She looked up at the rearview mirror to see Seth's eyes staring back in shock. He let out a high-pitched squeal of delight and broke into raucous laughter, banging loudly on the steering wheel. "Ohhhhh man, this is gonna be so GREAT. We should ride together all the time," he said, looking back at her as he put the car in gear. 
     "Yeah, we'll see," she replied, giving Seth an unimpressed look. "You guys seem like a couple of dorks to me. Might ruin my street cred." She winked and looked back, amused at how easy it was to get them both on the hook. 
     Predictably, Seth grumbled and slammed on the gas, peeling out of the parking lot and knocking them all back in their seats. "I am not a dork," he mumbled, looking at her again and sticking out his tongue brattily. 

     

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