What I'm About

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Portland, Maine, United States
I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a tortilla, deep fried to a golden crisp and smothered in sour cream and salsa. After the relatively short amount of years of living on this planet, only now do I feel like I have anything marginally interesting to say about anything. I hope to be able to write funny things for the most part, but don't be surprised if occasionally there appears some weird erotic fiction or a long-winded, philosophical monologue about the meaning of life. It just all depends on how I'm feeling on any given day. One this is for sure though, there will be cute pictures (and in all likelihood, videos) of bunnies and cats from time to time. So you've officially been warned...

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Fanboy Hell: Chapter 5

     Dean emitted a tension-filled groan as he watched his wet cock slowly disappear inside Punk's snug backside. "Wow, Punky babe...are you sure Seth fucked you? Because this feels like a virgin ass to me," he taunted, breaking into a smug grin as Seth flashed him a slightly offended look. "Or is it just because my dick is so much bigger than his? Huh?" he asked, punctuating his inquiry with a forceful thrust.
     Punk growled, lifting his head up and looking back. "Yeah, it's big, but it's still not as big as your ego," he cracked, unable to resist the urge to be a smartass even in his current predicament. He couldn't really see Dean's reaction, but the "Ohhh shit" and the muffled laughter that came from Roman told him everything he needed to know.
     "Oh, shut up," Dean snapped, looking up at Roman irritably. "Just because you've got a soft spot for this little bitch doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on him, you know."
     Roman sat up abruptly and reached out, grabbing Dean by his shirt and tugging him forward, their faces nose to nose over Punk's back. "Just remember who let you go first, you mouthy little shit. If I wanted to, I could plow him so hard he wouldn't even be able to feel your cock inside him after I was done," he reminded, baring his teeth as he returned Dean's glare. "You wreck him, and I might just come looking for your ass to finish in, so watch it...unless of course, that's what you really want."
     Punk still couldn't see what was going on above him, but he could feel Dean's erect cock twitch strongly several times deep inside him as Ro spoke. Just as he opened his mouth again to add his own comment, Dean grabbed onto his rope harness and used it for leverage as he began to fuck him hard, the surly tattooed man's raspy cries only spurring him on. "Fine," Dean grunted, stuffing Punk with as much dick as he could while simultaneously staring daggers at the Samoan in front of him. "I suppose I'll save some for you. But do me a favor and do something with that fucking mouth of his so he'll shut the fuck up, please."
     Ro smiled, replying, "Oh, I can do that." He reached behind Punk and pulled on one of the ropes, releasing Punk's hands from the bindings without removing the rest of the harness. He stood up and pulled Seth up onto the couch so he was laying on his back, then gestured for Dean to move Punk up on top of him. Dean roughly shoved him up into a 69 position on his hands and knees on top of Seth, growling, "I guess it's your lucky day, bitch" as he got in place behind him. "Now suck that dick."
     As Punk's body shifted into place above him, Seth gasped, a bit overwhelmed by the sudden realization of what was about to happen. He let out a low, chuckling moan, running his eager hands down Punk's sides and grabbing a firm hold onto his ass. "Fuck...this is so perfect," he groaned lustily as he gazed at the visibly throbbing cock directly above his face. He was so taken in by the sight that he was caught by surprise when his aching dick was suddenly enveloped by wet, sucking heat. "Yessss.....oh my God, just like that...holy fuck, that's good," he mewled, licking and biting his way up Punk's thigh and curling his hips upward toward the mouth servicing him. "You guys are too good to me."
     "Yeah, tell me about it," Dean replied, slicking his rod with more lube and rubbing it up and down Punk's ass crack. "I know you love seeing this though, don't you?" he asked, pressing it in slowly and deliberately so Seth could watch his thick meat being swallowed up by that inviting passage. Punk's moans buzzed against Seth's thumping dick as he stared at what was going on right above him, close enough to see Dean's cock throb as he thrusted harder to get it all the way in.
     "Fuck yes, I love it... I love your fucking cock. Do it. Fuck that ass. I wanna see it, pleeease," he whined, desperate for Dean to stop the teasing and get on with it. Dean complied and pulled back, then thrusted in again, continuing the slow pace, enjoying every twitching inch of Punk's grasping tunnel. "That's a good Punky bear," he moaned, releasing the ropes to grab Punk by the hips. "Good little bitch, you are. Fucking take it, just like I know you need it."
     Just then, Dean looked up to see Roman watching him too, stroking himself intently, mouth curled into a snarl and his eyes fixed on Dean's pistoning rod. "What's the matter? You need it too or something?" Dean goaded, smirking cockily. Roman quickly broke his gaze and put both hands on Seth's thighs, spreading them apart, and rubbed his cockhead along Seth's seam. "Nah, I think I need this nice little boy pussy right here though," Ro responded. "Is that what you want, kitten? Huh? You want this?" 
     "YES YESYESYESYES PLEASE...unhh...fuck me," pleaded Seth, writhing In anticipation. 
     "That's what I thought," said Roman, gripping himself mid-shaft and pushing forward while pulling back on Seth's hips. He slid in easily at first due to the fucking Seth was taking beforehand, but once he got to the point where his shaft got thicker toward the bottom, it started stretching Seth further, causing him to cry out and whimper even as he bucked to try to get more in. "Fuck YESSS Romie you're so fucking good...unhh give it to me...you know I can take it, baby," he whined, quickly approaching a complete sensory overload. 
     Seth felt like was in the middle of a three-ring circus of cock, with Dean aggressively pounding Punk's ass right in front of him, his own cock throbbing in Punk's warm mouth, and Roman's monster dick burrowing it's way inside him. He started to pant and make little huffing noises, crying out, "fucckkk...so fucking good, that's gonna....unhhhh shit...I'm gonna..." as he desperately tried to hold back. 
     "Aww, whassamatter Sethie? Can't take seeing this?" Dean teased, pulling himself out all the way and then pushing it back in to give Seth a better visual. "I think he's getting there, buddy," he said to Roman, who was engrossed in the act of penetrating Seth's rear channel.
     Without looking up, Ro replied, "Oh, I'm gonna get him there, alright," thrusting harder, watching that tiny hole stretch to accept his thickness. "That's right baby, take all of this cock. Show your little friend here how much you love it. Give him a nice big mouthful to swallow." He started giving Seth fast, short strokes, only pulling out about halfway before slamming it back in again.
     Seth responded by tensing up and vibrating with pent-up energy, still clutching Punk's ass and biting his inner thigh as his eyes rolled back in his head. "Yessss, don't stop- oh Goddd YESSSSS..." he wailed, hips pumping up into that hot orifice faster and faster until he went over the edge. He let out a loud groan as he unloaded forcefully in Punk's moaning mouth, watching Dean drill his ass simultaneously. 
    "Yeah, good, now swallow that fucking load, bitch. That's not the only one you're gonna be tasting tonight, so you better get used to it," rasped Dean, slowing down his pace a bit so Punk could do as he ordered.
     Punk did as he was told and sucked Seth's pulsing cock hard until he exploded, whitewashing the inside of the older man's waiting mouth with his copious load. He swallowed it all and then pulled his head back and licked his lips, pausing to look up at Roman. "I want that," he said quietly, looking at Ro's thick meat slamming in and out of Seth. "Please."
     Roman laughed, then said, "Well buddy, it looks like I'm tagging myself in. Step aside and let the big man take care of this," as he slapped Dean on the shoulder, smirking.


     

Monday, February 17, 2014

Shots

     "Come on, I didn't say you had to do one, all I said was I want to do one off of you, dumbshit...Godddd," Dean shouted tipsily over the thumping club music, his voice scratchier than usual due to the amount of yelling he had been doing all night at the string of bars they had already hit up. Seth looked at him and rolled his eyes, hoping he was kidding. 
     Dean threw an arm around Seth's shoulders, leaning on him heavily. He brought his hand up to stroke Seth's beard, beer bottle still in his grip. "Come onnnnnnnn.....pretty please, baby? I'm on tits and ass overload here. I need to see some of what you got going on under there-" he slurred, trying clumsily to untuck Seth's button-up dress shirt and unbutton it at the same time, all while leaning closer and closer toward his exposed neck. He stopped just before his lips made contact below Seth's ear and he suddenly became serious. "I know you want my mouth on you," he purred, his breath making the hairs in Seth's inner ear tickle and causing him to shiver.
     Dean licked and bit down. "Unhhh.....fuck...ok," responded Seth, trying not to let his knees buckle. "But where are we gonna do this? I'm not doing it with an audience of random people around."
     Without a word, Dean walked off, grabbing the nearest waitress by the arm. Seth could see him pointing toward the back of the club, and then she nodded in affirmation and went over to the bar. Dean then strode back over, grabbed Seth by the hand and yanked him across the crowded dance floor, making their way up to the VIP area. After Dean flashed some kind of card to the doorman, the man stepped aside and showed them both to a private area shrouded in diaphanous curtains, a large sectional couch circling the perimeter. 
     Turning around and holding up his hands, Dean asked, "So, is this private enough for my lil' princess?" with a shit-eating grin on his face. "Now you got no excuse to still have that shirt on, so take it the fuck off,"  he said, throwing himself onto the couch and looking at Seth expectantly.
     Just then, the waitress from before appeared, holding a tray with a bottle of top-shelf tequila, a small bowl of sliced lemons and limes, and a salt shaker. There were also two shot glasses on the tray, but Dean grabbed everything but them and then shooed the waitress away impatiently. He didn't forget to check out her ass on her way out though, then looked back at Seth and winked. "What? I guess I'm not that overloaded after all," he said teasingly.
     "Stop it," warned Seth, "You know what happens when you flirt with girls in front of me."
     "You bet your sweet little tight ass I do," Dean replied, standing up and advancing on Seth slowly. "You just can't take seeing me flirt because it just makes you want to see me fuck some slut senseless," he said, standing in front of Seth and starting to unbutton his shirt for him. 
     Seth could do nothing but stand there and stare, completely caught up in the fantasy Dean was describing. Dean's hands worked remarkably nimbly on the buttons as he continued. "Don't you, huh Sethie? It just gets you so fucking hard, thinking about my dick covered in some chick's cum, doesn't it? I bet you'd want to put it in that little whore mouth of yours and suck it dry...wouldn't you?" he asked pointedly, undoing the bottom button and flipping Seth's shirt completely open. 
     Seth looked angry for a moment, but then grabbed Dean by the head and pulled him into a heated kiss, both tongues hungrily exploring the other's mouth. Seth could taste the alcohol on Dean but he was too turned on by his filthy language to care. "Ok, fine...go ahead and do it," he said, trying to hide his mounting arousal. 
     As Dean readied the supplies, Seth stripped his shirt the rest of the way off and then stood there awkwardly. "So how do you want me?" he inquired.
     "Right here, baby," Dean answered, gesturing to the low table in front of the couch. "On your back. For now, anyway, heheh," he laughed drunkenly, pulling Seth by the arm until he did as he was told and assumed the position. 
     "We're gonna end up breaking this table, I can tell you that right now," Seth joked, but only half-kidding. Once he was relaxed, Dean kneeled on the carpeted floor next to him and uncapped the liquor bottle. He licked his lips, surveying the landscape of Seth's undulating abdomen. "Ok, hold still, this is gonna be cold-" he said as he slowly poured the tequila in a thin stream right down the center line, the liquid quickly pooling in Seth's shallow navel.
     "FUCCCKKK, that's freezing!!!" The two-toned boy yelled in a high-pitched squeal, causing most of the liquor to spill out and down his sides.
     "Oh, look what you did, you're making a mess, sheesh," laughed Dean as he leaned down and playfully lapped at Seth's obliques, making him squeal loudly once again.
     Dean came up for air, his face red from laughing. "You're so fucking cute when you squeal like a girl...god, it makes me just wanna eat you." He smiled warmly, then held up the bottle once more. "Come on, we're gonna do it right this time."
     Dean took a lemon slice and kissed Seth again, stuffing it in his mouth when he pulled away. "There...that'll keep you quiet anyway," he said, then grabbed the salt shaker and bent down. He stuck his tongue out and licked wetly over Seth's nipple, pinching it between his teeth to make it hard. 
     After shaking out a small amount of salt onto Seth's wet skin, Dean took the bottle and poured once more, the tequila flowing along the cuts of his abdomen perfectly. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of Seth laid out like an alcoholic buffet before slowly licking a circle around the salted nipple and coming back up to look Seth in the eye. He then dove down and sealed his lips around the tight belly button, sucking hard. Seth squirmed and moaned, trying desperately to keep the lemon between his teeth and not swallow it accidentally. His hips bucked upwards, his cock instinctively wanting to move toward that hot mouth. "Hurry uppfhh," Seth mumbled around the lemon, moaning desperately, hands clutching Dean's head to him. 
     Only after he had licked up every last trace of alcohol from Seth's navel did he finally come up and take the lemon, his tongue somehow managing to remove it from Seth's mouth and kiss him at the same time.
     Dean spit out the spent lemon, then went back in. They kissed slowly for a long time, hands touching faces, chests, arms as they embraced. When they came up for air, Seth felt woozy and disoriented. "Whoa, is it possible to get a contact drunk through kissing? Because....whoa..." he said, shaking his head.
     "That's not what that is, but I'm glad to know I make you feel that way, baby. And yeah, it's a pretty awesome rush, isn't it?"


Sunday, February 2, 2014

Special Treatment

     "Come on in," yelled Seth as he heard a soft knocking at the front door. He ran to meet his guest, frantically straightening up on his way there, his hand reaching out to grab the doorknob just as the door swung open. In the doorway stood Roman, his leather jacket and winter hat covered in a dusting of snow.
     Seth looked up to see his reflection in Ro's mirrored sunglasses, suddenly feeling a bit underdressed in his baggy sweatpants and t-shirt. Stepping back and holding the door open, Seth gestured for him to enter. "I told you, you don't have to knock. It's not like you've never been here before," he said as Roman came in, being careful not to track slush into the house.
     Once the door was closed behind him, Roman looked around for a place to set the bag of groceries he was carrying.
"Oh, let me get that for you," Seth offered, taking it in his arm as Ro slipped his boots off on the mat and removed his jacket, shaking the snow from it and remarking, "Damn. I always forget how cold it gets here until I actually get here. This 'snow' thing will never seem right to me." He shivered as he took of his sunglasses and put them in his coat pocket, then looked up to see Seth already in the kitchen, peering curiously into the bag which was now on the countertop.
     "Hey now, no peeking...you're going to spoil the surprise," Roman called after him, quickly padding over behind Seth in his stockinged feet. Before Seth had a chance to reach into the bag, Roman encircled him with his large arms and pulled him close, pressing his chest against Seth's back and nuzzling the patch of blonde hair that hung loosely to Seth's shoulder. "How many times do I have to tell you not to touch unless I say it's ok?" Ro growled through clenched teeth. He slid a hand across Seth's chest, stopping to rub his hardening nipple through his t-shirt. He pinched slightly until he heard a sigh escape Seth's lips. "You just sit down and watch. I'm gonna do all the work today. Think you can handle that, kitten?"
     Seth dropped his head back against Ro's shoulder as he heard Roman's pet name for him being purred into his ear. With a soft moan, he replied, "Mmm, yes Daddy, I think I can do that."
     Before releasing his grip, Roman squeezed him tighter until he heard Seth gasp slightly. "Calling me Daddy already, eh? You know what that does to me."
     "I do," Seth affirmed, lips curling into a mischievous smile. "I'm kinda hoping it'll make you want to do things to me, if you wanna know the truth....Daddy." He turned his head toward Roman, his smile widening into a shit-eating grin. 
     "Naughty boy," Roman scolded, his grip tightening. "I'll be as nice, or as not nice as I want, you understand me? His hand came up to clutch Seth's neck, his tone becoming serious as they locked eyes. 
     "Unhh...uh-huh...." Seth breathed, trembling. He licked his lips, staring at Ro's mouth, waiting.
     "Ohh no," the big man said with a smile. "That's not happening. At least not right now, anyway. Speaking of which, how much time do we have?" He inquired, letting go of Seth's throat and casually brushing his blonde hair aside, planting a line of kisses up the side of his neck. 
     "We have the house to ourselves until 6-ish. She's working."
     "Perfect. What I have planned might take a while, but I promise you'll thank me afterward," Ro said, finally releasing Seth from his grasp. 
     Seth chuckled, spinning around to face him. "I'm sure whatever you have planned will be amazing, as always...Daddy," he said quietly, looking up into steely eyes, biting his lip shyly.
     In a flash, Roman had him by the back of the neck and yanked him back into his embrace, his mouth suddenly descending on Seth's and locking him up into a devastatingly intense kiss. 
     As he enthusiastically kissed back, Seth's hands instinctively started to move up to stroke Roman's sleek, glossy hair, but he caught himself and pulled them back, wary of touching the big man without asking first.
     Ro broke off the kiss, asking, "You want to touch my hair, don't you?"
     "Yeah, kinda...but I won't. I promise," Seth replied hesitantly, looking down at the floor.
     "No, it's ok. I'll let you do it this time. Here, let me do this-" Ro said, tugging the elastic band off that was holding his mane back. He shook his head and Seth swooned. His ebony tresses spilled out in a dark wave, cascading down over his pecs in his tight t-shirt. He flashed an irresistibly sweet smile. "Go ahead," he allowed, greatly amused by Seth's googly-eyed expression.
     "Fuck...I could NEVER get sick of that. It's so fucking beautiful," Seth gasped, raking his fingers down through the soft, shiny locks. "You're fucking beautiful," he gushed, marveling at the sight. "And ughh, you always smell like...mmm...vacation." He buried his face in the thick curtain of hair and inhaled deeply. "I wish my hair was like yours." 
     Roman smirked as he gently brushed his hand down the blonde side of Seth's head. "Well then, have I got a surprise for you. I'm going to show you my secret to great hair...mainly because I just can't bear to look at this thirsty-ass mess you've got going on any more. I mean, do you even use conditioner on this?" he asked, lifting up a clump of parched, frizzy platinum hair. "Doesn't Leighla take care of you? I would think that she, of all people, wouldn't want you looking like a day-shift stripper when you're on tv every week."
     Seth stepped back, patting his hair down in embarrassment. "No, she buys the salon stuff. It oughta be good, the shit's like, 30 bucks a bottle, for crying out loud," he muttered, plopping down onto one of the swiveling chairs that lined one side of the kitchen island and stealing another quick glance into the grocery bag next to him. "So, is that what's in here? Your secret formula or something?" he asked, grinning.
     "Something like that," replied Roman, making his way around to the other side of the island and reaching into the bag. He pulled out a rolled-up parcel and set it down in front of him, then reached in again and pulled out several avocados with his other hand. "And just so you know, it's all paleo-approved," he teased.
     "Awwwww, you fucking rock, baby," Seth said earnestly. "Brought your knives, I see." 
     Ro threw a look of haughty disdain at the block full of random kitchen knives sitting in the corner. He sighed heavily, turning back to Seth. "Please, you can't expect me to use those...those department store-sad-ass-excuses for cutlery. I'd like to think you know me better than that by now, kitten," he said, unfurling the roll of black fabric to reveal an intimidating row of shiny silver blades. 
     Seth sunk into his chair a little, elbows on the countertop, chin propped in hand. "Fucckk," he groaned under his breath, entranced by thoughts of the terrifyingly sexy things he knew Roman was capable of doing with sharp objects. 
     "Come on now... they're for the fish," he chided, pulling a neatly wrapped package of fresh fish out of the bag and setting it down.
     Seth raised an eyebrow momentarily, but his intrigue was piqued when he saw several more items pulled from the bag. A jar of extra virgin coconut oil, several limes, a can of coconut milk, and a single red chili pepper were all placed on the work surface in front of Roman. 
     "Oh, hey, will you be a dear and get me my glasses from my coat over there?" He asked offhand, focused more on making his knife choice at the moment.
     Seth spun around and bounded across the room, retrieving the glasses and coming back to resume his observation. "You sound like my grandma," he joked, snickering.
     Ro withdrew one of the blades quickly, the glint off the honed metal reflecting in his eyes. "Well, that's probably gonna be weird for you when you're begging your grandma to pound your ass later, isn't it? Poor thing," he cracked sarcastically, picking up the glasses and putting them on, looking over the small rectangular lenses at Seth with a smirk.
     Seth's mouth dropped open at Roman's bluntness, but he had to smile at the contrast of the hulking Samoan in a pair of bookish frames. "I'll call you whatever you want if it means you'll pound my ass...Daddy." He cracked a sly smile, fully aware of the effect of his words. 
     "Behave, kitten," Roman responded in a low voice, brandishing the tip of his knife in Seth's direction. "believe me, you need this more than you need cock right now. And considering how much cock you need on a regular basis, that's really saying something."