Renee smiled and replied, "Oh, believe me, I'm well aware of how good you smell...it's all I ever hear about from the Divas backstage. I don't know what kind of cologne you wear, but that shit is like catnip for horny women."
Seth chuckled as he removed his hat and stuffed it between the dashboard and the windshield, then he suddenly sat back and looked at her in the mirror, his eyes widening as her comment finally sunk in. "Wait, what? Catnip? Who's horny??" he asked, so many questions popping into his head all at once. "Who is it? Please, tell me," he urged, eyebrows raised expectantly.
"You mean besides you?" Dean interjected, unable to resist the easy jab at his friend. "Jeez, man, calm the fuck down. Like it even matters anyway...you're taken, remember? No other woman will ever be allowed to touch your dick ever again," he said, emphasizing the last two words to really rub it in. "It's a good thing you found Ms. Right so early on, because now you don't have to worry about getting it on with any other members of the opposite sex for the rest of your entire life." He grinned smugly as Seth shot him a perturbed look. "What? It's true. I guess now you're gonna have to settle for watching other people get some," Dean ribbed, placing his hand on Renee's knee and sliding it up her nylon-covered thigh, digging in with the tips of his fingers until she yelped and smacked him away.
"And just what makes you think you're going to be getting some, exactly?" she inquired, rubbing at the spot he had just squeezed. "I'm not some blonde fuck doll, you know. If you want to get any of this, there's a certain protocol that must be followed."
"Oooh, protocol," Dean remarked, leaning in closer. "I love your big words, baby," he purred as he ran a lock of her long hair through his fingers.
"Mmmm, thanks. And I love your big...smile," she replied, her eyes flicking up from Dean's crotch to look him in the eye. She reached up and ran her finger down his scruffy cheek, tracing the deep indent of his dimple.
"Yeah, it is big, isn't it? And just think, you haven't even seen just how big it can get yet," Dean answered cockily, leaning all the way over and capturing her lips in a heated kiss.
Seth scoffed and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head. "Oh my God...do you ever listen to yourself?" He said in exasperation, trying to make eye contact with Dean in the rearview, but instead he saw the pair of mouths happily exploring one another, Renee's teeth flashing briefly as she bit Dean's bottom lip and held it until he let out a plaintive whine. She ran both hands up the sides of his face and into his auburn curls, then pulled his head back as she let go, her tongue swiping across her upper lip seductively.
She looked into Dean's dazed blue eyes and addressed Seth's inquiry. "He doesn't need to listen to himself...he's pretty."
Dean's body seemed to melt into her hands as he stared at her angelic face, so sweet and yet still capable of the filthiest sailor talk imaginable. Dean's heart fluttered a little at the thought of what she might say in certain unbridled moments. A chill ran through him and went directly to his dick, giving him an instant hard-on, and he twitched and groaned like he had been hit with an electrical shock. She saw it and instinctively knew, her hand running up to the top of his head and affectionately brushing his unruly hair out of his face. "Good boy," she mouthed silently, one side of her pink mouth curling up.
"Pffftttt, if you think he shouldn't have to listen to himself, then I should be able to ignore everyone," Seth said haughtily, admiring his reflection in the mirror. "I'm way prettier than him."
Dean and Renee both stifled giggles as she leaned forward and put a hand on Seth's shoulder. "I know you are, honey...and you're absolutely right...you definitely shouldn't listen to yourself."
Seth jumped nervously when he felt her touch on his shoulder, and as she spoke, he was too distracted by the creeping sensation worming its way through his guts to focus on what she was saying. He swallowed hard and looked down at her petite hand, manicured fingernails gripping ever so slightly into his deltoid. "Heh, yeah," he agreed weakly, his voice higher than usual. He hoped that his momentary amnesia would go unnoticed, but the resulting peals of laughter from the back confirmed it had not. He grumbled and blushed, silently cursing himself for being so easily excitable. "You guys are dicks...fuckin' perfect for each other," he griped, shifting his attention to selecting some music on the stereo.
Renee and Dean continued laughing for a few more moments, until their hands moved together between them, fingers intertwining. Dean looked up at her and said earnestly, "Yeah, we are. Couple of dicks, for sure."
"Oh, totally. Big, fat dicks," she continued, eyes traveling back down to his now significantly more prominent bulge. She bit her lip as she fought off the urge to unwrap his cock like a denim-wrapped birthday present, and instead squeezed his hand to drive the point home.
Dean moved their clasped hands into his lap, centering her palm on top of his dick, and squeezed her hand with his, pressing it hard against his pulsing erection. Her mouth opened as she got a good feel of his girthy piece, and he watched her with libidinous interest. "Mmhmmm.....big, fucking HARD di-"
Just then, Seth cranked the music up to near-deafening levels, trying to drown out his friend's unbearably lame come-ons. The heavy, guitar-laden metal blared over the speakers, crackling menacingly as it threatened to blow them out. Dean lunged between the front seats and poked frantically at buttons on the console until the volume receded, then smacked Seth on the chest and pinched his nipple hard, growling, "Uuuuggghhh, I cannot deal with this fucking emo rock shit you listen to. Lemme find some adult music, for fuck's sake." He squinted as he scrolled through the options, finally settling on something more appropriate. He sat back just as the song began, miming along with the first few guitar chords, then turned to the smirking blonde beside him and broke into song, his voice adorably scratchy and off-key.
"In the still of the night, I hear the wolf howl honey, sniffin' around your door...in the still of the night I feel my heart feelin' heavy, tellin' me I gotta have moooooore," he yowled, giving her his best David Coverdale hair-metal pout. She giggled and as the guitars crashed in again, they headbanged in unison, devil horns emphatically thrust skyward.
Seth groaned and shouted, "I hate you guys...almost as much as I hate Whitesnake!" over the cacophony, but it was barely audible. Dean's keen ear caught it though, and he leaned between the seats again, blocking Renee's view, and grabbed Seth's package, outlining his hardness with his fingers and stating, "Mmm, no you don't" matter-of-factly before sitting back and acting as though nothing had happened. Seth's cheeks turned a ruddy shade of pink and he gripped the wheel tightly with both hands, jaw clenching as he tried to breathe normally.
Renee couldn't help but crack up at Dean's antics, and Seth was such a natural foil for him that she just couldn't get enough of their seemingly endless mutual teasing. It was so oddly intimate at times that it almost seemed sexual, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. "So, are you trying to tell me I should be prepared to defend myself when you turn into a wolf or something?" she asked, recalling the song lyrics, subtly baiting him.
"Nope," he answered bluntly, turning sideways in the back seat to face her. He lowered his head to her chest and inhaled her scent, sniffing her like a dog up the side of her neck and lapping at her earlobe playfully. "I'm pure-blooded American Pussy Hound, baby...nothin' to worry about. I'm just a cute little puppy who likes to lick things." He growled and bit her neck, making her squeal loudly and smack him on the thigh again. "Especially when they smell as good as you do," he continued, nuzzling her hair.
Seth was already watching again in the rearview, eyes following Dean's hands as they moved up to cup her breasts, his thumb brushing across her nipple as she visibly shivered. His dark eyes rolled upward and he blinked a few times, feeling a bit dizzy. He started to question whether encouraging Dean to fool around with Renee while he drove was such a good idea, as the combined sexual energy permeating the cabin was enough to have him uncomfortably aroused, even as he actively tried to focus on driving.
"Oh, please...Pussy Hound? Seriously?" Seth made an unintelligible sound of disgust, banging his hand on the steering wheel in an attempt to slow Dean's roll. "Renee...you have to tell me, please....does that shit actually work on women? I mean...fuck, I'm objectively better looking than this fucker, and yet if I talked to girls that way, I'd get my face slapped clean the fuck off. So what is it about this pussy dog that is so damn appealing, anyway?"
"Pussy Hound," Dean corrected. "And the only reason you'd get your face slapped off is because it's just so perfectly slappable, you little shit." He leaned up and slapped Seth from behind, then dodged an attempt to hit him back.
"You're stupid. And that's a stupid name, either way," Seth remarked as he rubbed his cheek.
"Psshhh. I'd rather be an American Pussy Hound than an Armenian Dick-Licker," Dean quipped, earning him a riotous cackle from Renee and a celebratory high-five.
Seth groaned again and leaned over the wheel, resting his chin on his hands as he steered. "Yeah, well, if that's the case, then you're not a pure blood because you're part Dick-Licker too, you asshole," he said defensively.
Dean's eyes flew open and he jumped up and cuffed the back of Seth's head, causing the car to swerve suddenly. "Shut UP," he hissed, trying to silence him. "Just fucking drive, dick. I'll deal with you later," he added before finally settling back in beside Renee and clutching her hand once more.
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